I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
