She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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