im gay
i know
yea but for you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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