70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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