I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
