I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
