you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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