Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
