PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I need to calm my uterus...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
