he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Randomize
