so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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