haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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