I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
