OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
