Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
