My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Found your dick twin last night
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize