The maid of honor just puked.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How does one acquire holy water?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
