he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
