I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
