i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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