Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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