Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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