I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
