So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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