I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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