Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
