ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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