lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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