saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
