And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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