Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Drunk is a universal language darling
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
