u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize