I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
