I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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