are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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