After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
