it hurts more in the daytime
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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