is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
