He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
And then my night got REAL pukey
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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