he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
