your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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