someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
