the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize