I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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