i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
