how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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