I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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