I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
