3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize