and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
