We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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