Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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