I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
