i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
