I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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