Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i came on her dog
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
