The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
