oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
